(What’s a girl to do when her elusive lover won’t return her calls?)
My story’s not new. I’m not the first woman to fall in love only to be deserted.
Shocking he would do something so shady, because up to that point he had been so transparent.
It started out passionately. Out of thin air he arrived, and our first time together was amazing! For 2-3 hours he ravished me, over, and over, and over….
Words not coming easily to him, he used songs to assure me of his love and how perfect he thought I was. I was smitten, always giving in when I felt his presence.
For months we had clandestine meetings, but he had a tendency to disappear. I worried he was married, since he always came to me, not me to him. And over time the sex became more and more lackluster. I tried having meaningful conversations with him, but they were all one-sided.
Still, for months in the summer of 2014, when I was ill, he was there for me. He reminded me of Gregory Peck in To Kill a Mockingbird…the strong silent type.
At the age of 52, after decades of fruitless searching, I had finally found “the one.”
But eventually I saw right through him. I noticed that, despite his obvious physical attraction to me and assurances of love and marriage, aside from smoky “vapors” nothing ever manifested. My mysterious, enigmatic lover would only visit me when I was alone, my friends and family never meeting him.
Was he ashamed of me?
Something seemed fishy. I started to suspect he was full of sh-t, so much I could smell it on him. Sh-t and death. He reeked of it. But eventually the odors, along with the ardor, faded.
His intentions were clear, I could see right through him. I was a boo-ty call.
He must have preferred me submissive, because as I became well his visits came further and further apart. He no longer put any effort into the lovemaking, and I became dissatisfied, never admitting it to him, hoping somehow things could go back to the way they were in the beginning.
Things swiftly turned from heaven to h-ll. As I felt the pin pricks and pinches, I began to awake covered in bruises and scratches from his visits. Funny, I didn’t remember his hurting me, although I suspected he drugged me as I developed temporary amnesia.
In spite of everything, after he was gone, I begged him to come back. But he refused to speak to me.
After our last meeting, I thought of how we had met. I was vulnerable at the time, ill with an airborne fungal infection that can go to the central nervous system causing delusions and hallucinations. The infection gave me seizures, migraines, insomnia, wild mood swings, symptoms of multiple sclerosis, and temporary blindness.
My lover gone, I fell into a deep depression, barely able to bathe or brush my teeth. Incredibly disappointed, more than a little confused, and feeling utterly alone, I spent 50-80% of most days sobbing uncontrollably and contemplating suicide.
But eventually I’d find my way out of the darkness. And the depression, like my lover, vanished into thin air.
Only later would I realize that I had been having a passionate affair with a fungus, and yet it STILL wasn’t the dumbest thing I had ever dated.
Submitted by Susan MacIntyre
Also – listen to this Episode of my podcast for my own Old Hag experience and some thoughts on the whole phenomenon
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